I did something heretical last night: I threw yarn away.

Worse, I threw it away in the form of a UFO.

You see, the thing is that I realized that I really, really didn’t want to finish that project. And since it was 10 years old, and I was not the crocheter then that I am now, the quality wasn’t such that I felt comfortable sending it out into the world into someone else’s hands as a donation. And honestly, I just don’t have the space mentally or physically to store something that’s never going to be finished.

So into the trash it went.

I’ve still got a ton of yarn left from it that can become something else. What else, I’m not sure, but I’ll no doubt figure it out after it’s had a chance to be stash for a while.

I feel…lighter. Definitely. When you can send something to the dump with a sigh of relief edged by sadness rather than vice versa, you know you did right.

The damned thing isn’t ever going to be finished.

Seriously.

I’ll tell you why, too: it’s because in the intervening ten years, I’ve changed too much. I still love the colors, but the way I crochet is totally different now. I don’t have desire enough, or patience enough, to go through the excruciating work of trying to match my former gauge (way too tight), of putting all of those little squares together (or adding on to them), and trying to force the thing to do what I think it should do now, instead of what I’d intended to do then.

I’m going to keep the remaining yarn and find another project for it. That I’m sure of. What to do with the panels I haven’t taken apart? Pillows, maybe? And I have 73 finished squares and some partially finished ones. I’m not sure whether to try to turn those into something else or just re-home them. Anyone interested in 73 tiny granny squares?

(This is the project I’m talking about. Some of those panels have been taken apart now.)

This is pure 100% unmitigated brilliance! I must go make another granny ‘ghan right now. Oh, who am I kidding? I must go make enough squares that I can’t bear to pass them on for a chairty project, but not enough that I can face the dreaded assembly of the afghan…say maybe 3/4 of what I’d really like. Then I’ll stuff them in a box with the rest of the coordinating skeins and let them marinate for 5-10 years.

*snerk*

Very cool, in any case.

This is.

Very, very, VERY cool.

I am no longer waffling about making another granny ‘ghan. Not with this little tool in my arsenal…

How long has it been since we’ve actually talked about crochet here? LOL. Been that kind of week-or-two. So onward:

1. I have a design for a toy I’m working on right now that I think I finally have right. I just have to make an entire one and test it. It’s symptomatic of the state of things right now that I’ve been at that stage for a solid week now and I still haven’t finished the thing. I’m really excited about it, even though to my mind it isn’t anything fancy. There’s just such a thrill in getting something to turn out “just so.” Which is probably the heart of why designing is so addictive for me, even when I’m reinventing the wheel. Which I’m not, exactly, this time. But anyway…lol.

2. I love granny squares insanely. I do believe that they are my favorite thing to do, ever, period. I want to start morphing them in weird ways. Longer-term…

3. I finished a giant rectangle granny baby blanket for the shop. I still have to get pics. I am so in love with the way this turned out that it’s going to be painful to post it. I want to keep it!

4. I’ve been making these for this, because it’s been a few months since I sent something positive into the world and I’m a big believer in helping where you can. This is something I can help with, even with my own life in chaos. So I do.

5. I just put all of my yarn scraps into a clear plastic bin, so that I can see them and be inspired.

6. The destash was a huge success. Thanks to all!

I think that’s about it for now. Back soon!

Ever have a project that just kicks your ass?

This would be one of mine. The hardiest, in fact, having been started, as near as I can figure, early in 1999. It might have been earlier. I know I remember working on it in my apartment out by Fresno State, which I moved into in January of that year. In resurrecting it I’ve run across a bit of cat hair, which suggests that I actively worked on it while still at my parents’ house, which would put it anywhere between 1996 and 1998. It was started, though, after the “train ‘ghan” I mostly made while running back and forth from Fresno to Vallejo on Amtrak in service of a bad relationship. Those trips stopped in April or May, I think, of 1997 so it dates to after that, because that ‘ghan wasn’t quite done at that point.

In any case, it’s somewhere between 8 and 10 years old, and about half done.

Incidentally, this is the one time that I’ve had anybody comment assuming that the yarn I was buying wasn’t for me; one of the ladies at Wal-Mart remarked on how sweet I was to buy yarn for my grandmother. I don’t think she believed me when I told her it was for me, but no matter. I’m the one it’s been following around for the last ten years.

(Note the mad MS Paint skillz. *snicker*)

So I got, oh…maybe half done with making all of these little four-round granny squares and I got bored, right? So I started putting them together. Only problem is that way back when I had no clue what I was doing. As far as I can tell from looking at it, I added a cluster at the join every time I went around a set of joined squares, so the pieces of the thing I’d put together wound up hopelessly distorted. It’s been sitting like that for years. I’m pretty sure I haven’t let it out of the box since I left for Pensacola in late 2000.

I suppose I feel compelled to finish the thing just because I’ve moved it so many times.

Unfortunately, though, that means that I’ve got a lot of frogging to do, because all of those sections that I joined, then tortured? Have to come apart now.

*bangs head on wall*

It’s great for my ego, though. It really is. Because it’s a fabulous demonstration of just how much I’ve grown with this in the last little while. And how cool is that?

I’m at the point where I need a change, so it’s been thread day around here today. I’m making Christmas-y things with red and green thread, including some granny-square-ish bookmarks and cetera. The change of pace helps with the soreness I sometimes get in my hands and wrists. Right now one wrist is very sore from the crochet (and mousing adds to that, I’m sure) and the other is very sore because I fell rather heavily (hah!) and awkwardly on it yesterday. I’m a grand clutz. Nothing new. That one is actually worse–the typing is *painful*–but the thread work? Not noticing it at all. If I ever get all of the kids in bed, I’m going to switch to working on a wallet I started a while back, also in thread.

Still with the too many ideas dancing in my head. I wish I had all day to work on these things. I never expected to fall in love this way this time, but it’s happened. More on that in another post at another time, methinks.

I made my first sale on Etsy.

And I finally got my first 5 squares in the mail for this project:

I’m hoping to be able to contribute a few more here and there over the coming months. I just can’t promise a thing with the baby on the way. I think it’s a great project, though, and the more people she can get squares from, the better, so if you’re out there and squarely inclined at all, you might want to drop a few in the mail.

The other project I’ve got going on outside the shop is to get at least one square made for Krystal as promised. I’ve just got to get the size right…

I’m really, really wanting to start another baby blanket like the one in my header. I know the squares will drive me crazy, I know I can’t finish it before the baby comes because it will be way too hot to assemble it, and I know that I’ll be annoyed at having to finish it whenever it finally gets finished, but I want to, dammit.

*sigh*

I so need to think of something pretty to make with some of that yarn. Maybe that will take the edge off the craving.

Far away from me, lol.

I love granny squares, but I inevitably get tired of them before I’ve finished what I’m doing. This is why when I opened the mystery tote labeled “yarn”, I found two half-finished granny square projects waiting for me. One is about ten years old and well-mangled by my impatience. I’ll never (ha!) start anything like that again! Planned for 315 squares, most of which would be 4 rounds in 4 colors…I don’t know what I was thinking. I must have been feeling patient that winter. I got bored and started joining and improvising, and the thing looks a mess in its current form. I’ll wait until next winter to rescue it. It still makes my head hurt, and it’s been years since I worked on it.

The other thing was a bright, beautiful rainbow square assortment, already partially prejoined. After staring at it for a few minutes, I realized that the addition of 12 squares and a border and I’d have a lovely blanket for laying the new baby down to play on. So I finished it this last week, and it turned out every bit as gorgeous as I thought it would. So pretty, in fact, that I’m tempted to make another…

It really *is* an addiction.

Pictures will be forthcoming once I get the camera downloaded, but for reference, the header pic is exactly the blanket I’m talking about, unfinished.